That’s a very small number! Until you compare it to 1.8 or 3.2. Until you’re talking about the “C” word! ☹ Then it can keep you up at night.
Mary, my PA, emailed me with my CLL peripheral blood results and said that my numbers were “up” this month but that Dr. Shah (stem cell dr.) and Dr. Weirda (leukemia dr.) had discussed it and agreed to not pursue anything at this point and would rerun the test in three months. Try not to worry. Right. Well, I immediately emailed back to ask what exactly “up” meant? They have always kept us in the loop with all my numbers, and we are pretty meticulous about keeping track. For the past year that my CLL has been in “minimal residual disease” (MRD) status, my numbers have ranged between 1.8 and 3.2%... a very small percentage. We all liked it that way! It was the next best thing to remission. So to hear that it has jumped to 6.4%...doubled...is a bit troubling.
Over the last few weeks, my Facebook memories have been filled with blog posts that I wrote in May of 2012 when I had my transplant. Such a flood of emotions! I’m so thankful for the time I’ve had with my sweetheart, our kids, grandkids, family, friends. This past year has been a fight for my knees and for finding answers for the pain. The cancer has really been on the back burner. It may still be, but tonight it’s not. Probably won’t be until the next time they check it. Maybe it was a fluke. Maybe it’ll go back down. Maybe it won’t.
If it doesn’t, we’re in a better place than we were almost five years ago when all this started. Dr. Weirda told me earlier this month that there are several new treatments available now that make my options much more open when the time comes. And no matter what happens with percentages, blood tests, bone marrow biopsies, and all the rest, I know Who holds my tomorrows!
One thing that this crazy cancer has done for me is learn to appreciate every moment, live and love every day like it’s my last, don’t sweat the small stuff, it’s all small stuff. ☺
So, if I could ask for your prayers, again, I would certainly appreciate a prayer that my small stuff would stay small! 6.4% is big enough! Once I get to 10%, we have to talk options. And for all who know me, as much as I like to talk, I’d rather talk about something other than this.
“So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my
righteous right hand.”
Isaiah 41:10
“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.
And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”
Philippians 4:6-7
“When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought joy to my soul.”
Psalm 94:19
“An anxious heart weighs a man down, but a kind word cheers him up.”
Proverbs 12:25
“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.”
Joshua 1:9
“Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.”
Matthew 6:34
“When I am afraid, I put my trust in you.”
Psalm 56:3
