It’s All in the Numbers

It was exactly 458 days from the day we were married until the day I was diagnosed. May 29, 2010 - August 29, 2011. Tomorrow will be 11 years and 6 months, 138 months, or 4,202 days that I…we have been fighting this insidious disease known as leukemia.  
We have learned how to read my white blood counts, my neutrophil counts, my lymphocytes, my platelets, and more numbers than you could ever imagine. We feel like we could basically have a degree in this by now!
The number that matters the most now is the number of cancerous cells per 10,000. In my testing last fall, I had reached the seemingly unreachable stage of MRD negative, meaning that I only had 1 cancerous cell in 10,000! This was HUGE! But I had five more months of treatment left and they wanted the success to go deeper. My cancer has been exceedingly stubborn and they want to make sure it stays down for a while.
We have seen the results from last week’s test and I have "VIRTUALLY NO B-Cells PRESENT"! PTL! Such a gift! Because this is the end of my trial, they have run a newer, more extensive test that checks to the 1,000,000!! We are hoping those results will be back by tomorrow when we go for all my end of trial results.
My PA, Jill, who has been with us since the beginning, said that it is possible that I will get to “ring the bell!” Never have we ever expected to be able to ring the bell!!!! Having a chronic cancer that we know will come back, we just didn’t think that was in the cards for us. But if these incredibly amazing meds have further shoved this beast down into oblivion, even if it’s just for a few years, this gal will be ringing that bell! And my sweetheart who has been by my side every step of the way will be ringing it with me. Because it’s been our fight, our journey. And then we will be counting different numbers after this! The days that we get to be free from what has enslaved us.

“Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us.” Hebrews 12:1

“He has saved us and called us with a holy calling, not according to our works, but according to His own purpose and grace which was given to us in Christ Jesus before time began.” 2 Timothy 1:9

“Count it all JOY, my brothers and sisters, when you encounter various trials. For when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow.”
James 1:2-3

“Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for His compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.” Lamentations 3:22-23
 

 

2023...Balance

As another year was drawing to a close, I began to think about what my focus word would be for the coming year.  One year was "transformation." Another year was "growth." So much has been on my plate this past year, I chose the word BALANCE for 2023. Then I started to really research the word....

We ALL have stuff. As I listed out mine to try and organize my mind and life, I could let it either overwhelm me or motivate me. I have my relationship with my God, my husband, my responsibilities in caregiving for my mom, Dixie, taking care of my customers and growing my business, personal development, relationships with six kids, spouses, eight grandchildren, big extended family, church family, friends, taking care of our home (inc. meal planning, shopping, gardening), doctor visits, exercise, Oletha/Fowler Farm & Ranch...and trying to have a life.

Balance. How? What does that even look like? Let's start with the definition. 

    "An even distribution of weight enabling someone or something to remain upright and steady."

    "Having the right amount...not too much or too little...of any quality, which leads to harmony or evenness."

Then I checked the Thesarus and was surprised to see many of the words that correlated to balance.

Harmony, symmetry, evenness, equivalence, stability, steadiness, fairness, impartiality, composure, assurance, self-control, calmness, coolness, ease, tranquility, serenity, confidence, sureness, poise, dignity, presence of mind, collectedness, unflappability.

I could spend a day or more on each of those words! My word of the year ended up being rich in meaning and full of hope and promise. My prayer for these coming days and months is that I will consistently choose to be present in the moment, calm, poised, steady, assured...trusting in Him for strength.

"Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." Isaiah 41:10