This time last weekend, Paul had taken his last two vacation
days of the year (the rest having been spent taking care of me in the hospital
or taking me to doctor appointments or ER trips) to take me to the country with
the hopes that the miracle healing that God often does in the quiet places of
His world would find it’s way into my heart and mind. While I always enjoy being up there, it didn’t seem to be
working.
The meds the psych doctor had prescribed had left me worse
than I was to begin with. (They
all react differently on different people. Not so well on me.)
I was sick to my stomach, crying, tired, mopey, seemingly more depressed
than before the pill. By Sunday we
decided to stop the pill. The
nausea resided after a while, and we decided to pack up and go home a day
early. The country therapy didn’t
seem to be working. I know it made
Paul sad, and it made me sad too.
He tries so hard to make life good for me.
So Monday we decided to finish all the Christmas errands
since I had doctor appointments the rest of the week. We spent the whole day together in and out of stores,
talking, and just being together.
We realized half way through the day that I wasn’t the same sad little
girl that he’d been living with the past few months. I felt almost back to normal. It was like the fog had lifted. My mind felt clearer than it had in months. We had no idea what to attribute it
to. Four days with my
sweetheart? Had the Zoloft helped
behind the scenes while I was enduring the horrible side effects? Will I be this way tomorrow when Paul
goes back to work?
Well, today is Saturday and I can enthusiastically say that
I have made it all week. I still
have to talk myself through certain things and tell myself what we’re going to
do today! But the progress
has been remarkable. And it helped
hearing from the oncology psych doctor that the timing of my depression was
completely normal compared to other transplant patients. Doesn’t make it any easier. But it does make me feel less alone and
weird. The encouragement continues
to stand…you must let the healing continue. Once you get to your one year anniversary, things will start
to turn around.
Maybe Santa came early. But I believe something a little deeper. I know the prayers that have been
prayed for me. And in this
Christmas season as we prepare to honor the coming of a little baby who was not
just any baby but God’s only Son, sent to live among us until His time was come
to sacrifice Himself so that we might have a way back to God. A free gift that all we have to do is
receive. Jesus is the Magic of
Christmas, and he touched me with a little of it this week.
May God touch you and your family this year with the Magic
of Christmas.
