Moment by Moment

Wow!  What a week!  I must confess that this was not what I expected from my ramp-up week of Campath.  As of my last post, the proverbial truck had run me over.  Since then, it has backed up and plowed me down a few more times.  Thursday evening was pretty bad, and Friday was horrible.  I think I’d rather go back to the chills and fever!

After trying everything to manage the headache and nausea, I finally called my nurse to see if we could try a different drug.  I think I mentioned that my original anti-nausea drug (Granisetron, or Kytril for short) was not only not helping my nausea, I think it was aggravating the headache problem.  When I talked to my nurse, she assured me that there were several other options that shouldn’t cause headaches.  She called in Phenergan, both varieties, if you know what I mean.  One variety works faster and is less likely to come back up.  :/  Good times.  The good doctor also had her call in Flexeril, a muscle relaxer, to hopefully help relieve some of the pain.

Because things had gone from bad to worse, Paul was able to get permission to leave work midday Friday, go pick up my new meds, and be home with me for the rest of the day.  Have I mentioned how wonderful he is lately?!  :)

The Phenergan worked well.  The Flexeril decreased the pain level by about 40-45%, which was huge at that point.  We continued with all my other meds trying to find a balance of what would work.  Fortunately, I slept Friday night.

Unfortunately, Saturday’s sunrise greeted me with yet another headache.  I took my Maxalt (migraine med) and another Flexeril, along with my regular mix.   You’d think I would have been comatose by then with all these drugs in me.  Within forty-five minutes, I was able to eat a small amount of oatmeal and 2 ozs of a mango protein drink.  Ick.  As the day went on, I continued on my regular 3/day Tramadol (pain killer), my two antibiotics, Tylenol and Flexeril whenever I’d feel the headache inching back, and whatever else I’m taking.  By late afternoon, Paul and I actually went for a walk around the pond!  Success!!  Maxalt again at 9pm for the headache that just would not stay away and another pretty good night’s sleep…until the sun rose with yet another headache!  This time I hit it with Maxalt and a little more sleep.  I wanted to try to go to church.  Work with me here!

A few weeks ago, my sweet friend from church, Dian, invited me and her dear friend, Jan, who went through a stem cell transplant this past year, over for lunch and a time of sharing.  Dian’s husband is now in his third bout with cancer.  (Please keep John & Dian in your prayers.)  Jan is successfully on the other side of a stem cell transplant having battled an acute form of leukemia.  We spent four hours together sharing each others’ journeys, asking questions, enjoying a lovely lunch, and ending in the wonderful world of girl-talk, about everything from our kids and grandkids to face cream, makeup, and tattooed eyebrows. :)  The reason I mention this here (I always come full circle if you just hang in there with me) is at one point of the conversation Dian and Jan laughingly recalled how they had to set up a card table in Jan’s post-hospital apartment to manage and organize all the medications.  At that point, I could not imagine needing an entire card table for pill bottles.  Well, I can now.

So back to this morning.  My Maxalt and my body decided to work together and by the time I woke up again, the headache was gone.  OK.  I’ll try making coffee.  Done.  How about wetting my hair and washing my face?  Done.  How about sitting down for a minute.  OK.  Fluff the clothes in the dryer and fold them.  Done.  (If you’re wondering where Paul was at this time, he was still asleep.  Bless his heart.  He is working so hard at the caretaker thing, on top of all his regular responsibilities, that I couldn’t bear to wake him until I was sure.)  So I was being quiet.  Yes, me.  I can be quiet.  So let’s try putting on some clothes and makeup.  OK, but how about sitting on the side of the tub when possible.  Wow, I might be able to do this.  Guess I’ll wake up Paul since I only have hair left to do.  So, after utilizing my new sitting position for fixing my hair, and eating a bowl of oatmeal, I’m ready to go.  I haven’t accomplished that much in any one DAY this past week. 

What a blessing to be welcomed by His people and warmed by the worship of our God.  Thank you, God, for giving me the strength to be with this body of believers who lift You up in praise and hold me up in prayer. 

God often speaks to me through music.  I found it almost humorous that the first song was “I’ll Fly Away”!!  Indeed, I will.  But not this week.  :)  A new song was also introduced.  The first verse started with “Slow me down, oh Lord, slow me down.”  Paul and I just looked at each other and smiled because, as I have written about before, my life had been at a break-neck pace for years.  It seems that when He wants to get my attention I get some weird sickness, which slows me down.  Well, Lord.  This is about as slow as I’ve ever been.  The second verse started with “Clear my mind” and the third with “Wake my soul.”  I’ll take both please.

A nap was necessary immediately after returning from church.  I was able to eat, and now I have been able to write.  This has been a good day.  Tomorrow we start over again.   Please pray that we don’t have a repeat of this week.  If we do, please pray for grace and endurance.  I know it’s only for a season.   We have determined to travel this journey one day at a time.  This week has taught us to take it one moment at time.  Moment by moment, He carries us through.

Moment by moment I’m kept in His love;
Moment by moment I’ve life from above;
Looking to Jesus till glory doth shine;
Moment by moment, O Lord, I am Thine.

Never a trial that He is not there,
Never a burden that He doth not bear,
Never a sorrow that He doth not share,
Moment by moment, I’m under His care.

Never a heartache, and never a groan,
Never a teardrop, and never a moan;
Never a danger but there on the throne,
Moment by moment He thinks of His own.

Never a weakness that He doth not feel,
Never a sickness that He cannot heal;
Moment by moment, in woe or in weal,
Jesus my Savior abides with me still.