"It’s Just Hair” and Another Round of Restaging Tests

You’d think I’d have the hang of this by now. This is not my first rodeo. I know all the right words to tell myself and others going through this. “It’s just hair.” “It’ll grow back.” “It beats the alternative!” But it doesn’t change that feeling you have when you look at yourself in the mirror day after day. It’s hard. That’s all there is to it. I don’t look the way I used to.

For whatever reason, I never lose all my hair like most other cancer/chemo patients. Not to downplay the difficulty of that road, I almost think it would be easier to just get it over with than the months of handfuls of hair falling out, watching it get thinner and thinner. I had a ton of hair to start with, so people don’t notice the results of mine quickly. It took about three months of daily hair loss to finally get to the point where I just couldn’t do anything with it. Plus, I turn another shade of gray with every treatment. ☹ And with both comes a texture change. Still I try to remind myself, “It’s just hair.”

It grew back last time, eventually. I know with reasonable confidence that it will grow back again this time. But even if it doesn’t, I am still alive! I have a friend who is battling GVHD right now, and I’m worried about my hair! That brings it back into perspective! But we all have our own fight, and I am still fighting to get back into remission, which brings me to part two.

Yesterday, I had labs, PET and CT scans. Today I meet with Dr. Shah and then get my bone marrow biopsy to complete my “re-staging.” That means they will see what stage my cancer is and how I’m doing overall. I have been having some pain under my arms, in the lymph area, so they are mildly concerned about that. They continue to be SO diligent in my care. I am incredibly blessed to have this team of doctors by my side.

We are so thankful for your continued prayers on our behalf. We thank God for each day and suck the marrow out of each day He gives us! Cancer changes your perspective. I have met numerous people out and about who comment on how joyful I seem. Life is too short to let the little things rob you of your joy.

Choose joy.


“May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope.”
Romans 15:13