Results and Questions

This past week, I got the results to my restaging tests. I appreciate all the prayers and wanted to pass along the news. The PET and CT scans were both clear, except for one little spot that supposedly has been there for eight months and isn’t doing anything. The areas under my arms and in my groin area that have been sore are attributed to the inflammation that goes along with the joint issue. My labs look fine. A few things are still a little low, but I’ve been that way for a long time, so no big deal. It just means that I still have a weak immune system. The test that took the longest to get back revealed that my abnormal cells have increased slightly, but they are still in the minimal range. And my donor cells are holding in there at 95%. Whew! So we will continue to watch and wait. Fortunately, my doctor watches very closely!!

While I am very thankful for these results, it is difficult right now to understand…. WHY? Why am I given more time, more weeks, months, maybe even years with my family when others who have walked similar walks are not? I know as a believer that these are not questions that I will find answers to on this side of heaven. I know that God has numbered our days from the beginning.

“Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me
were written in your book before one of them came to be.”
Psalm 139:16

I walked through the first phase of my cancer journey with a friend who had SLL, a sister cancer. He had the same care, the same belief, the same support, but not the same outcome. Now another dear friend, who we had the privilege of mentoring through his stem cell transplant, is at the end of his fight. It feels like part of me goes with each of them. But God’s Word assures that their days were ordained. Cancer was not in ultimate control.

So what would God have me to do since He’s keeping me here? Well, there are a few things that we’ve thought of. First, I intend to enjoy this sweet man of mine. Second, I hope to spend as much time with these six grandchildren as we possibly can. Third, I would like to keep paying it forward. Paul and I both feel that we have been given this opportunity to share and encourage others in their cancer walk. Every time I’m at MDA, I end up talking to someone who is new to the journey. Maybe it’s time for me to go there for more than just appointments. Maybe I can help answer someone else’s hard questions.

For now, I will say thank you to my Lord, my doctors, my caregiver husband, and my prayer supporters for getting me this far. I can’t say that I understand, but I can say that I’m thankful.


“Yet this I call to mind
and therefore I have hope:
Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed,
for his compassions never fail.
They are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness.”
Lamentations 3:21-23