Sometimes they’re as obvious as the noses on our faces. Other times, they seem to take some
thought. Either way, Paul is
usually the one to know what the goal needs to be. Right now, the goal is to go one month without being
admitted into the hospital! I
can’t say to go one month without “going” to the hospital because I “go” every
Tuesday and Friday to the ATC (Ambulatory Treatment Center, for those who have
forgotten the term). I almost blew
it last Sunday, but I was determined (as you may have read in a previous post)
NOT to go back just three days out from my last release. That was a close call.
In addition to that goal is one that has hit me squarely
upside the head this past week.
That is how very weak I am.
While the med balance is fair to middling and on the improving side, I
am skinny as a rail and losing muscle mass. My energy level is 0 to 1. I try to “do” and I end up with a headache. And with the increase of my Topamax, I
am now limited on my pain meds to three per week, so I don’t have the luxury of
a headache! So I have to do a little at a time, take a nap, do a
little more, take a nap…. For
those who have known me more than five minutes, you know this is very difficult
for me. If the fatigue of last
fall was difficult, this is impossible!
Of course, nothing is impossible with God. But it would be without Him!
So Paul’s prayer (and mine, of course) is to keep me out of
the hospital for a month, then we will re-goal. My prayer is for the patience to endure the slow process of
rebuilding strength. Oh,
wait. I know what happens when we
pray for patience!!! Let’s change
that to praying for small daily successes in rebuilding strength…with patience
along the way. :)
Now maybe I can go back to sleep.
The bone marrow transplant really did a number on my strength, too. It comes back!
ReplyDeleteI really just wanted to tell you that I'm still reading and praying. My wife does, too. When you write a post, your blog rises to the top of my blog list, and that reminds us to keep following your story.