Day 173. Second Chances.

Some days are so stressful that the opportunity to get away is a gift that cannot be refused.  We recently had one of those days.  And we are thankful that we have a little piece of heaven to escape to. 

While there we did quite a bit of fishing.  This trip was Paul’s turn to catch.  He’d throw a line in and it would come back with a fish almost every time.  I did not have such luck or talent.  Saturday, he caught a fish that broke his line and got away with his lure, line and all.  Sunday morning, just when I was about to call it a day, I caught a fish.  But not just any fish…the very same fish that Paul had caught the day before, with the lure still in its jaw.  So Paul got both lures out of its mouth and freed him.  That first lure would have eventually killed him, but because he was willing to open up one more time, he found life. 

Most all of us are given second chances at some point in our lives.  Whether as a sinner saved by grace, our health, our finances, our relationships, or as a fish with a lure stuck in its jaw.  Our God is a God of second chances.   He is merciful and gracious and loving and patient.  And He always has a plan. 

The morning of our unexpectedly stressful day, my devotional said,

“Go gently through this day, keeping your eyes on Me.  I will open the way before you as you take steps of trust along your path.  Sometimes the way appears to be blocked.  If you focus on the obstacle or search for a way around it, you will probably go off course.  Instead, focus on Me, the Shepherd who is leading you on this life journey.

When the road looks rocky, you can trust Me to get you through.  My Presence enables you to face each day with confidence.”

I then read the passage about the Good Shepherd in John 10:14-15,

“I am the good shepherd; I know my sheep and my sheep know me— just as the Father knows me and I know the Father—and I lay down my life for the sheep.”

Isaiah 26:7  “The path of the righteous is level; you, the Upright One, make the way of the righteous smooth.”

Proverbs 24:16  “for though the righteous fall seven times, they rise again, but the wicked stumble when calamity strikes.”

Job 33:29 “God does all these things to a person—twice, even three times—“

Thank God for second chances.  And for fish.

Day 166. Blessings and Prayers

At just over five months post transplant and counting, there are many blessings to be thankful for and many prayers still on the table, for me and for others.  Paul Pavao, who was an immense blessing to me via his blog and email communication to me as he was a few months ahead of me in this journey, continues to struggle along and needs your continued prayers.  Dave Kinler, my business buddy, is currently in another round of strong chemotherapy which will hopefully prepare his body for his upcoming stem cell journey.  Pray that he does not fall prey to neutropenic fever again with this treatment. Finally, an old friend from CBC, Jim McEver, is losing the battle with stage four colon cancer and the insurance company isn’t wanting to pay for a last ditch effort trial treatment.  Pray for these and their families.

I went back to the doctor last week for my check up only to find out that the results we have been waiting for were unable to be attained.  My lymphocytes are so low right now, which is where the T-cells are, that they can’t get enough T-cells to count and compare against donor vs. mine.  My other cells are 100% donor, which is great!  We just can’t confirm whether or not the change in medicine is doing its job with the 66% donor cells vs. 34% my cells that were trying to take charge.  So we have to wait until October 29 when they do my next re-staging.  That’s when they will again do my labs, CT Scan, and bone marrow biopsy.  They can re-do the T-cell tests with this information as well…even better.  More waiting.

My hair has been falling out.  They have done a thyroid test and a hormone panel with results showing that I am post-menopausal.  Duh.  She’s going to speak to an endocrinologist to see if I need a little hormone help.  Maybe it’ll help my hair stop falling out.  Other than that, I don’t feel hormonal.  But maybe you should ask Paul.  :)

The little blessings I referred to earlier is that I have been able to go to a few outings.  However, when I do, that’s it for the weekend!  :/  My son turned 30 recently, and after a really bad weekend the one before, I was able to go and spend FOUR hours sitting and enjoying my son’s birthday party.  I slept most of the next two days, but I didn’t care.  It was worth it!  This past weekend was my uncle’s 80^th birthday.  We again were able to spend three hours sitting and visiting at his birthday party.  Around people and out of the house.  Two things that don’t happen very often.  Double blessing.  But the next day requires extra rest.  I have just come to accept that’s the way it is.  I don’t always want to take a nap.  I have to take nap.  We were also able to attend a memorial service for an old friend.  Not something you like to need to go to, but it was a blessing to be able to and to see folks you haven’t seen in a while.  The fatigue is still there but it is either less or I am used to it’s level and what I can do.  I’m definitely better than when I got home!

Psalm 40:1-3  “I waited patiently for the Lord; he inclined to me and heard my cry.  He drew me up from the pit of destruction, out of the miry bog, and set my feet upon a rock, making my steps secure.  He put a new song in my mouth, a song of praise to our God.  Many will see and fear, and put their trust in the Lord.”

Day 152. Just When You Thought….

Just when I thought that I was getting a little better, BANG!  Saturday morning at 7AM on the dot, I woke with the worst migraine I’ve had in weeks.  We threw everything we had at it to no avail.  Nothing worked.  Saturday was horrible, and Sunday was a pretty good repeat except that we had layered so much pain meds on top of me that the multiplicity finally bullied the migraine into submission for periods of time.  Monday, I felt like I had been run over by a truck, but Paul had already spoken to Dr. Shah on Sunday who worked me into an appointment on midday Monday.  She was as confused as we were. 

She considered sending me back to the neurologist, but Monday wasn’t her clinic day.  She was actually glad because Dr. Shah didn’t want her to put me back to steroids when she just got me off of them.  So the consensus is back to the lack of fluids, so they went ahead and gave me a couple hours IV right then and put me on schedule for Tuesday and Fridays now and I have to be more and more determined about my drinking.  Paul is now numbering my bottles and putting them in the refrigerator (rather than refilling bottles or cups and not knowing for sure how much I’m getting).  Since they had already checked my thyroid, they’re going to do a hormone panel on my next set of labs because hormones can have an effect on migraines and hair loss as well.  It would be nice if we could pin an answer on something other than hydration.

She took my Tacrolimus down another two pills per day.  She is convinced that as we eliminate the Tacro, we will minimize the headaches while working toward the chymerism situation.  I’m all for that.  And so far, I have not seen any new GVHD symptoms.  That continues to be the prayer request. 

The weekend was a horrible blur except for the caregiver in shining armor who continues to care for me in love and patience. 

I also felt the Presence of the Gentle Healer.  There were times when I didn’t think I could take it and just stopped and laid very still and spoke to Him in my mind and asked Him to help me relax and be still until the medicine could take effect.  I know I could feel His Presence.

Romans 8:6  “…the mind controlled by the Spirit is life and peace.”

1 Peter 5:7  “Cast all your anxiety on Him for He cares for you.”

Zeph 3:17  “The Lord your God is with you, he is mighty to save.  He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing.”