Today was the last of my pre-transplant tests. A full ophthalmology exam was in order
and I had my first CVC dressing change.
(Paul will probably blog about the humor in these later. But they were both somewhat unpleasant.) We learned during the eye exam that
GVHD could also affect the eyes, which is why they needed baseline information
in this area as well. We had been
told a couple weeks ago that I would not be able to wear my contacts while in
the hospital. They do not want any
risk of infection. What I hadn’t
realized is that I won’t be able to wear them for as long as I am on
immuno-suppressant drugs, which could be a year or more. So, even though it wasn’t in the plan,
I filled my vision prescription today for a new pair of glasses. It will be the first time in a long
time that I haven’t worn contacts.
The past several days have hung quietly heavy for Paul and
me. There hasn’t been much left to
voice. Just silent hugs. We have known this day was coming for
some time, and we’ve done our best to prepare for it. We have spent what time we could with family and friends,
and we have spent time alone.
I have washed the towels one last time. I washed the sheets one last time. I finished all the laundry, ironed shirts,
and packed my bag. I shopped for
some easy to fix foods for when Paul is at home. I have bought and addressed birthday cards for the next two
months. There’s a lot to think
about when you are going to be gone for a month…or four!
Tonight is our last night at home. Our last dinner together here. Our last night to sit on the porch and enjoy its
serenity. Our last night to walk
around the pond. Our last night to
sleep side by side.
For a while. Then
begins a new set of firsts!
The next weeks and months are not going to be easy, but they
will be worth it! With God’s
grace, the miracle of medicine, and the gift of stem cells, we will return home
for another season of life together and with those whom we love.
Oh, how I remember the "lasts". I was treated 400 miles from my home. I was able to come home for my 50th birthday and before my auto stem cell transplant. We had a family dinner with my extended family. When my nieces and nephews left for home I hugged and cried and cried. It was such an uncertain cry. But here I am, 3 1/2 yrs. later and cancer free! Please keep us up to date, or have your husband let us know how you are doing. You are so in my thoughts and prayers!!
ReplyDeleteCyndi
Lakeside, MT
http://advocateofhope.wordpress.com
Just a note to say I'm still here, praying for you, thinking about you ...
ReplyDeleteYou know, after that last minute thing with the Ritoxan and the signatures, you have to know that God is with you. He doesn't start something, then let it drop all over the place. Well, sometimes he does if we do, but we're not going to drop this one. Keep us updated as possible!